My middle son turns 2 years old. We’re all battling sickness right now so I feel terrible that we’re going to be sick for his birthday. I think I’m going to give him a gift next Saturday for his photo shoot I have scheduled so that he can celebrate on a day where he’ll hopefully not be sick! My “boyfriend” is kissing my butt right now because I found a pack of cigarettes in MY car that he is using. We have been through this too many times in our relationship. He lies and says he quit. I told him the last handful of times that I was done if he started again because I do NOT want to be with someone who smokes. He knew that when he started again. I told him I’m done and he’s going to show me he’s done for good apparently. We’ll see. I already told his family that we broke up. I haven’t told my family though. I don’t want my mom to worry. Another reason I told him I’m done is because of his anger. He cannot control it. He will tell and cuss at me and slam doors in front of our son. That is not okay. Apparently he’s going to get that taken care of too. Today he works a double, so Kingsley and I have just been hanging out. I’ve been trying to get cleaning done. It’s never ending!



Date night went well. I got quite a bit of cleaning done over the weekend and colored my hair again. Kingsley did well with my boyfriends sister and her boyfriend while we were gone. I beat Nate in bowling and met his coworkers. A lot of drunk people acting like fools. It was a good time. Excited now for our next date night. I was a little thrown off today though. I was running late for work and had to have my boyfriend run me some stuff I forgot. Overall our first date night went well.

Feeling grateful 😇

As I sit here during my first pumping sesh of the work day, I feel extremely blessed to be able to feed my precious baby with my body. It’s truly a beautiful thing. I love knowing that my baby is getting something made special for him and he’s getting the healthiest option. Some people aren’t able to breastfeed, so I feel extremely grateful that I am. 

Whatever works…

Kingsley let me make breakfast, but not eat it. 

 There it is.. Just sitting there getting cold. 

I guess you do what you gotta do in these situations. 

Baby backpack.

After some ambient music, some rocking back and forth, and a binky we had success.

Now can I sit without waking him up?


Now to finish my cold breakfast!

We’ll see how long I get. Gotta pump soon.

On a Saturday around lunch time;

As I am holding my sleeping 4 month old while bouncing up and down on the edge of the bed, I contemplate whether or not to lay him down yet. If he is not in a deep enough sleep yet, he will start screaming again. I have the next 2 days off so I am trying to get the apartment cleaned up. Not an easy thing to do with a gassy, teething baby. 

Toddler checkups are a nightmare.

My parents, my boyfriend, and I all loaded up the boys in the van and went to the hospital for Adrian’s (my 3-year-old) and Liam’s (my 1 1/2-year-old) checkup. They both had to get shots. My boyfriend stayed in the waiting room with Kingsley while my parents and I squeezed in the small room with the boys. While the doctor was trying to check the boys’ vitals they freaked. They screamed and flailed their limbs while twisting and crying. You’d think they were being tortured. My parents had to help me pin the boys down so they could prick Adrian’s finger and give them both shots. They calmed right down after we picked them up and left the room, but we had to listen to the screams of other children while walking down the hall to the exit. Stressed. Kingsley has shots next month. I’m dreading it. He did really well last time though.